Marriage Care / Care for Spouses with Secondary Stress

Share this page on these sites







Image Source/Credit:


Depending on the job, and the unit, and what's going on in the world... it's inevitable.

You knew it was coming, you were determined to make every day count until. 


  Now, the stresses of being alone, or pulling double-duty as a solo parent take their toll.

Parenting, career, home, the kids schedules, bills, car repairs, home management...

you did it all, while waiting, worrying, and missing them.


After months of extended seperation, you probably expected a happy re-union.

Instead, you might find yourself having to walk on egg-shells, 

dealing with unexpected conflicts and emotional tension,

trying to keep things calm and quiet to prevent blows ups.


It may seem like the person you wake up with is a distant now..

moody, quiet, irritable, edgy, jumpy...  

You wonder if you are even on their radar.

They may seem to be absorbed, detached and un-available.

We encourage you to be extra gracious and merciful during this time.

It takes time to process traumatic memories while carrying on day to day responsbilities. 

They have suffered more hardships than you will ever know, 

Sure, they're glad to be home, but war affects people.

They need your strength as much as you need theirs.


God's will for your marriage is unity, harmony, and one-ness, and joy,

but your loved one needs time to heal from everything they have just gone through,

and may have to endure again.


Image Source/Credits:


Love is patient, love is kind, love endures all things, love hopes all things.

Image Source/Credits:






....TGM salutes America's  home front hero's....

both men and women, and we thank you for the

sacrifices you and your family have made for our nation.


Image Source/Credit:


Secondary stress for a spouse goes way beyond the worrying, anxiety and loneliness during deployment.

When your loved one finally returns from war, your marriage, your family life and your home atmosphere

may not get back to normal again... for a very long time. This quickly leads to disappointments and let downs.

But you already know all this.

  While things may never be exactly the way they were before exposure to war,

God will be faithful, in each new chapter of life, to help you adjust.   

He  is with you through the fire, and through this journey.

He will NEVER leave you, or forsake you.

You must remember, it's not what you have lost, it's everything you have left that counts.

  It's not about the past, it's about your future.


If you are experiencing secondary stress, trauma, or anxiety

because of changes in your spouses personality or behavior,

because of everything  and everyone you care for, 

or because you have entered into the role of a caregiver to a wounded veteran,

we are here to support you.

Your peace, strength, wholeness, healing and well-being are crucial.


Your loved one may still be in a dark place with thier memories, feelings, and emotions

and they might not be able to tell you about it right now..(maybe they never will).

  It's probably their way of sparing you the details, and trying to protect you from what THEY are living with,

but they are depending and counting on your love, patience, faithfulness, kindness and support

more than you will ever know -- even when they push you out. Especially then.

Don't misread their silence. They are hurting, possibly in anquish or anger, and they are trying to cope.

They need you now more than ever before.


But that doesn't mean that it's okay to take it all out on you, or to take you for granted.

You deserve respect. Your valuable contributions must be recognized.

Being married to a veteran can be tough. There are pressures on your marriage that civilian marriages don't have.

So figure out what your boundaries  need to be, set them, and walk in love.

Get the rest, nutrition, exercise, and healthy social contacts you need.

Grow your relationship with the Lord through prayer, bible reading, and worship music.


Above all, don't quit, don't give up, and don't lose courage.


This too shall pass.

Stay strong. Keep the faith.

God is bigger than this problem.

He cares about what you are going through.

He has the power to turn this around. 

It may take some time. It may take some work, and then some.

Trust Him with the heavy stuff. 

There is a time for every purpose under heaven, including a time to heal. Eccl 3



  Image Source/Credit: